Blood and gunpowder... gunpowder and lead - Part #2

Gunpowder and Lead

I have, my dear friends, discovered that I am a down-home, low country, rednecked, hillbilly lovin' gal at heart. I roll with the Dixie Chicks and with Dolly, Carrie and Miranda; I croon along to Kenny, Keith and Brooks (and Dunn). I have set my station to FM WKGB-HICK. And I am LOVING IT.

After the initial shock of the rental car radio BLASTING "terrible country music" in my ears, I decided when I came into Nashville that I was going to have an open mind, for at least a few songs, and see if I still had the impulse to violently slam the 'off' button. Curiously enough... I didn't. And haven't. And STILL haven't.

I, y'all, have turned.

And it's the GALS that are really speaking to me. Some of them make me laugh, some of them make me yell "hell YEAH!" and some of them make me a bit moochy (there's this gorgeous duet that reminds me of Shaun.. lyrics goes something like "it's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now..." LOL) - but a few of them have captured my heart so much that I am going to a) buy their songs on iTunes (big deal for those of you who know how stingy I am with paying for music) and b) recommend y'all check them out.

The second half of this title is dedicated to the delightful Miranda Lambert, who sings "Gunpowder and Lead". Please check out the song, it's really worth the listen and laugh and the 'hell yes' of sisterhood. But I'll entice you with a few lyrics first:

I'm goin' home, gonna load my shotgun
Wait by the door and light a cigarette
If he wants a fight well now he's got one
And he ain't seen me crazy yet
He slapped my face and he shook me like a rag doll
Don't that sound like a real man
I'm going to show him what a little girls are made of
Gunpowder and lead

She rocks. I kid you not. Ok I'm not a big fan of domestic violence and I don't advocate shooting your man as soon as he walks in - BUT - I love her spunk and her sound and I turn that knob up as high as my little white ears can manage it when she comes on the radio. Which isn't NEARLY often enough. Nowhere near as often as this stupid man singing about "you make my speakers go boom boom" eesh. Idgit.

The other one I'm just adoring (or maybe more than one) is by Carrie Underwood (GOD she's adorable. and FIERCE) and it's called "Good Girl", and then there's my other favourite, tying for first place with Miranda.. is Gretchen Wilson with Redneck Woman. Classic:

I’ve got posters on my wall of Skynard,
Kid and Strait
Some people look down on me but I don’t
give a rip
I’ll stand barefooted in my own front yard
with a baby on my hip

Cause I’m a redneck woman
And I ain’t no high class broad
I’m just a product of my raisin’
And I say “hey y’all” and “Yee Haw”
And I keep my Christmas lights on, on my front porch all year long
And I know all the words to every Charlie Daniels song
So here’s to all my sisters out there keepin’ it country
Let me get a big “Hell Yeah” from the redneck girls like me..

Sound like anyone you know mmm? Ehehehe you know who you are, and I love you biggin's.

ANYHOO Y'ALL! Back to the journey. Where was I? Oh yeah, Pigeon Forge. Whelp, I got in late, as I mentioned in my last blog, and then next day I got up bright n' early to head into the Great Smoky Mountains. Smoky? Yes. Mountains? Yes. Great? We-ell... I was beginning to think NOT, as I drove around an 11 mile loop designed to let the FAT LAZY AMERICANS STAY IN THEIR CARS IN A NATIONAL PARK (I kid you freakin' not. Oh my lord I had nothin' left to raise when I realised you don't drive up, park, get out, and use the transport god gave you to explore.. oh nooo.. they've made it real nice n' convenient for fat lazy Americans to stay within their vehicles and experience "nature" that way. Eesh.) BUT. Then something AMAZING happened.

I saw a bear.

And I don't mean like miles off in yonder distance, barely able to make out (is that a bear? naww, it's just a black stump..) I mean RIGHT IN MY FREAKING FACE IN FRONT OF MY GODDAMN CAR kinda bear-close. And he (she?) was just the most ADORABLE thing I have seen in a long, long time. Since I left Gleeton, at least. Or maybe Miss Pixie. ANYWAY! My point is, I was just giving up all hope of actually seeing some native wildlife, other than friggin' CROWS, and BOOM! there he was. Snuffling around, scratchin' his butt then sitting on it.. digging frantically (lazy bear-pace frantic.. frantic for a bear...) underneath a log to find some good eatin'... standing on said log staring directly at us stoopid humans staring back at him and taking a million pictures.. he was just gorgeous. A beautiful nicely sized black bear. He wandered over to me which prompted the mother next to me to shriek to her two young'uns to "get in the CAR ELISE!!" but me? Naww. I stood my ground. Mainly because I realised a) he wasn't coming AT me, he was just moving towards me as he went on his merry way towards aforementioned log and b) there were like a bazgillion people around all with cars and whatnot, including mine, and I know you're not meant to run if they chase you but COME ON, my car is RIGHT THERE, I'll ninja in and put up the window and stick my tongue out at him while he paws the duco.

So I have to say my Friday was a perfect example of why it both sucks and is awesome, to be travelling alone. I saw said bear (and then a beautiful doe moments later), and got a bit weepy, and desperately wanted to grab Shaun (or other suitable travelling partner) and say LOOK! LOOOOOOK AT THE BEAR!!! (because clearly he wouldn't have worked it out for himself with the other bazgillion tourists gaping at it).. but instead I just kinda swallowed that need to express my emotion and went on to have a small teary over the beautiful doe instead (I know right? I'm falling apart here! Donna! Get thee over to me - stat!). BUT. When I was done, I was done. And all I wanted to do was have a nap, because I was freaking EXHAUSTED, and I have been driving around like a bee with its stinger missing, and I just wanted a nap. And this little voice in my head said "oh you should really do another trail.." and then the ME voice said "No! I have seen squirrels, a bear, a doe, a bunch of native birds and I'm fairly sure some native mammal.. although who knows wtf it was... I want a goddamn nap." And I did. And it was wonderful. And there's not a chance in hell I would've done that if I had companions, because I would've felt guilty as hell for 'ruining their afternoon by napping'. Natalie - I'm sure you're gonna here me here, yes?

So I came, I saw, I conquered, and the mountains really are beautiful. The air smells like the most amazing freshness, mingled with honey, and underneath it all - musk. There must've been some stags nearby when I smelled that, because I swear I smelled musk. But it smelled like mother nature, and that's something I haven't smelled in a long time.

Oh - and for those of you who were concerned - I picked up my car at Nashville and after gently easing her out of the carpark, discovered that yes, indeed, driving on the right hand side is indeed like riding a bike, and now it's just so natural to me I'm going to have to adjust back when I get home.

Chat soon,
M x